Recode — In what is arguably an unusual email for the very top executive to send to employees, Uber CEO Travis Kalanick advised his staff in case they decided to have sex at a company outing in Miami in 2013.
Internally called the “Miami letter,” it is a saucy rulebook for the then 400 employees at the company, who were headed to Florida’s Shore Club for what was a party-focused celebration of the car-hailing company’s success.
Titled: “URGENT, URGENT – READ THIS NOW OR ELSE!!!!!,” he also noted at the top: “You better read this or I’ll kick your ass.”
The event, which came after Uber rolled out its 50th global city, used a Chinese symbol for the number nine. “It is a symbol that has internal meaning at Uber but is something we do not discuss externally,” wrote Kalanick.
Let us translate for you from the original bro language: It means a goal to reach a billion-dollar run rate, or 10 to the 9th, which Uber did that year just before the party.
Among the dos that Kalanick advised: “Have a great fucking time. This is a celebration! We’ve all earned it.” He also noted that “Miami’s transportation sucks ass,” the first shot in what became a battle to have Uber serve that city.
That was the tame part of the email, which Kalanick actually sent again the next year when there were 1,800 employees at Uber.
The don’ts advice was much more specific, giving information about everything from vomiting (a $200 “puke charge”) to drug use to throwing beer kegs off buildings to, well, proper fornication between employees (and sometimes, apparently, more than one).
Wrote Kalanick: “Do not have sex with another employee UNLESS a) you have asked that person for that privilege and they have responded with an emphatic ‘YES! I will have sex with you’ AND b) the two (or more) of you do not work in the same chain of command. Yes, that means that Travis will be celibate on this trip. #CEOLife #FML.”
The remainder of this article is available in its entirety at Recode